I Gave up on the American Dream to Move to Bali
I remember I was working at a public school in New York City and I had to do my taxes; I had to become an adult. I had to figure out how I was going to live when I turned 65 years old. I remember putting together all the numbers and crunching the numbers, then realizing that “oh my god I'm going to have to work for the rest of my life until I can be free.”
This is the American dream.
But of course it's not said to you in this way; it's portrayed as something else…
If you work hard enough, then you will have the white picket fence.
If you work hard enough, then you will have the husband or the wife.
If you work hard enough, you will have the degrees.
If you work hard enough, you will finally be good enough.
Unfortunately this ideal of the American dream is a moving target, so every time you accomplish something you never feel like you've arrived. There is always the next thing and the next thing. I gave up on the American dream, because I just felt exhausted. I felt exhausted, I felt depressed, and I felt anxious in my heart. I felt like I was chasing something that I didn't even want. I just wanted peace. Often we have these concepts in our heads of what success is, but actually it's not even your idea. I realized that I was chasing more money, I wanted to get a promotion, I wanted to have another master's degree. Although I had already done a bachelor's, I did a masters by the time I was 20, but of course, I wanted more... I thought about going to get a PHD, but then I had to pause and ask myself who implanted this idea of success in my head?
Is this even my truth?
Is this even my reality?
I finally realized that it wasn't.
Unless you take a step back to really reflect, to really see yourself, and to truly hear the whispers of your own heart; you will continue running on this treadmill like a rat stuck in the rat race unable to get out and by the time you do, you're 65 years old. The average lifespan is about 75 years old so that means that you would have wasted most of your life chasing something that wasn't even yours and that most likely you didn't even accomplish because guess what? This ideal of the American dream is created and designed, so that you never really arrive.
The more money, the more problems, the more things the more problems.
You’ll start neglecting people and chasing more things when actually life is about people.
I gave up all the American dreams, because I never felt like I was good enough for America.
How can you ever be good enough when the target is always moving? I packed my bags and I left America and I have to tell you that was like the best decision that I've ever made. I’m in Bali now and for the first time in my life I feel like I can breathe; that I can pause, that I can reflect. Being in Bali doesn't mean all your problems disappear, naturally as human beings we're going to create our own problems, because that's just the way the mind works, but at least they're yours. Being in Bali, I finally feel like I'm on the path to creating things that matter to me. To learn things that matter to me. To accomplish things that actually contribute to the world. To be more of a person who cares about other people rather than climbing on the backs of others in order to make myself and my family successful. I have more of a cosmic universal perspective of life now, other people actually matter to me more than my success and obtaining things matter to me.
So I gave up the American dream, because I actually wanted to be happy.
Maybe you are different and maybe you feel like with chasing the money, chasing the things, and chasing the degrees does bring you a sense of peace and if so keep going. If not, just know that at any given moment another path is available to you.
You can do whatever you want, the world is your playground
When I was chasing the American dream, I actually didn't feel like I had a choice to choose another path. I felt like this was the only option that was available to me and if I tried to do something different… like if I tried to be an artist or if i tried to write or if I tried to travel the world, that I would fall behind. Somehow I felt like I would be left behind by everyone else, but I realized that I didn't care anymore. Let me be left behind!
At least I will be operating in my joy operating in my truth.
Taking a leap of faith to Bali means, by the time you are 65 years old which is when you're supposed to retire, you will look back at your life and be really proud. You will be proud that you chose a path that is yours. You will be proud that you chose a path that is true to your heart.
Bali is just waiting to embrace you with open arms, all you have to do is say yes.
Written by Black In Bali community member @
We are all mirrors for each others. Thank you for sharing your story so we all can grow together!
